General Jimmy

Writer / DJ / PR Manager / Fat Bastard

Darren’s Alterative Theory Special Report – Thursday 19th April 2012

If Adidas was on a stage, it would probably be the worst Performer ever.

Disclaimer: The views that you are about to read are totally mine, if you agree or not please feel free to leave your views in the below comments section at the bottom of this page.

August 2011, sections of Great Britannia went berserker as young people went of a spree of violence & looting combined with a love – hatred around Capitalism specifically the common desirable items shown constantly within advertising on Public Transport…

50″ Flatscreen Televisions (Samsung), Games Consoles (Xbox), Mobile Phones (BlackBerry) & Sportwear Clothing (Adidas).

What was actually comical in a gallows type of humour was how it seemed Adidas was both the uniform of choice for those going on the rampage but also the most desirable product to steal particularly from the national clothing chain – JD Sports. This point was also connected with on a rather insightful conversation on New Zealand Radio

During last summers, supermarket ‘before the Police get yea’ dash, Adidas went into a corporate lockdown not answering any Media Requests (including from The Guardian) around exactly why their products where deemed the premier essential must have brand by the yoof.

So, fast forward 7 months & some corporate idiot (yes, that term does exist) at Adidas UK HQ decided to finally face the issue, maybe by possibly creating along with 100% funding a series of Community Centres focusing on Sport in the most deprived neighbourhoods of the UK; perhaps?

As you might have gathered I am an individual that’s always got an opinion yet after watching the insulting attempt by Adidas by using Black British Culture … mistake Urban Culture, to show that with enough drive anything is possible.

I was lost for words just looking at the Television for at least 3 minutes AFTER the Public Service Announcement, the only other time I’ve experienced a ‘WTF Moment’ was watching the end of the movie – ‘Predator 2’ when the lead Predator as a show of respect gives his own antique pistol with an inscription of 1715 to ‘Harrigan’ [Danny Glover’. Therefore showing the ‘Harrigan’ & the viewer that the Chief Predator has been coming to Earth for its annual summer vacation for at least 282yrs..!!

So, for some credit must go to that corporate idiot for making something so powerful that it shut me up during the advert & then 3 minutes afterwards. The movie I consider one of the triumphs of Modern Cinema due to it showing the lead character as a Black Man in a leadership role that overcomes vertigo to fight a 7ft Monster, who has all types of strange technology to the death in revenge for his murdered friends.

So you which ‘Hero’ did Adidas decide to roll out for their current campaign David ‘Man of the People’ Beckham (is that Leytonstone or Hollywood) but you’d be wrong instead…

‘The Pride of Tottenham’ [the actual words of Adidas within the Advert] – Wretch 32.

You know… ‘erm you don’t?

Well according to Wretch 32, anybody can make it with enough drive & determination the world can be yours. You can OWN that stage, blood like man dem
‘Keith Lemon’ [a fictional comic & rather unfunny creation but that’s ITV for you] seen within the ad chatting up de gal. Very sporting.

Well, Adidas if you think am as a person of mixed heritage am going to take a 3min personal development coaching session from a Man that calls himself Wretch then you truly are a bunch of corporate idiots.

Definition of Wretch:

1. a deplorably unfortunate or unhappy person.
2. a person of despicable or base character.

I’ve attempted to listen to the collection of Wretch’s work via YouTube & it’s got the quality of a 14yr old taking to the stage during an Academy’s end of Academic Year Talent Contest within the School Hall. It’s shocking.

Adidas via their site is giving people the following radical cowabunga opportunity:

‘Wretch 32 is giving you chance to open for him on Tour later this year. You will perform at a Wretch 32 gig, meet the man himself and we will also through in £500 spending money on adidas gear to ensure you look the part’.

If he’s the face of Adidas then I’m… ‘Galactus’, what’s worrying is both Wretch 32 & ‘Galactus’ are comic book characters yet one is real & possibly highly delusional..!!

This might be seen as me being ‘a hater’ but since The Macpherson report that was supposed to deal with racism in British Society was published in February 1999, the amount of male children that share Wretch’s & my own ethnicity whom have been expelled from compulsory education (5yrs – 16yrs age range) has increased.

The amount of individuals that again from the mentioned ethic classification are now making up 40% of those within Youth Detention Facilities within the UK. Between 7 – 10% of the UK’s population are in this group, therefore something is very wrong perhaps racism is getting worse. These figures where BEFORE the disturbances of last summer.

What really got me was the final shot of the Adidas Advert that shows Wretch have a Party looking on the balcony towards the Stadium. So like Moses of The Old Testament, he’s allowed to look at the Promised Land but isn’t authorized to enter it.

Malcolm X was once told his claims of racism in America where wrong as Little Richard, Chuck Berry & Sammy Davis jr. had sold millions of records in a nation that had a majority White population. As always Malcolm X had the correct response “White America doesn’t hate Black Music, just the Black Artists that make it”. He then gave an example of Artist that performed at a Top New York Hotel only to be informed that they had to enter & leave via the Staff Kitchen entrance.

Things have improved in terms of race relations yet just recently The Guardian released audio footage of a Metropolitan Police Officer openly mocking a young Black Man using racist language. The UK has a monarchy therefore it’s built on elitism meaning


Then we all know people that have climbed the GCSE – A Level – Undergrad – Degree – Employment Ladder, only to discover after all their years of efforts it was simply Fools Gold as you’ve got to learn how to get along with the Line Manager…

Be seen as central to the team but not a direct threat to the existing management structure therefore good but NOT that good.

Then it’s socializing with people at work you’d rather not but have to due to internal dynamics, I’ve worked in some places that make even the skulduggery of
‘King’s Landing’ seem polite.

Life simply isn’t a case of what you make it, I’d say it’s a lottery possibly a fixed one as the more psychotic, vain & egotistical in our society seem to be in positions that impact millions. Yet, what do I know is simple; just watch adverts by Adidas & your life will be hunky dory.

Advertising is now more like brainwashing, corporations spend millions on pre-production making sure they instantly connect with a certain demographic. This sector also sells impossible dreams & ambitions as not everybody can be a success; as if this was the case who would clean the Supermarkets or drive the Buses or stand on the door doing security of a freezing Thursday February night during a Carnage night for all those zombie undergrads.

The riots had a factor of greed but then it was the only opportunity for many to own desirable products. Society creates it’s own Monsters, it’s that simple. Before, I have people saying I’m justifying crime – I’m not instead I am doing something more difficult trying to see the logic behind what happen rather than mouth-off like a reader of The Sun newspaper.

Yet, nobody get’s angry about the goings on along with power of The City of London. The only place in The Commonwealth that the Head of State currently Elizabeth the II has to ask prior permission BEFORE entering..!! Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not occurring.

I wasn’t going to watch any London Olympic 2012 Coverage, as the money could have been spent better. Yet, when you’re watching Underworld & Danny ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ Boyle present the £20million Opening Ceremony on the 27th July, be happy because you paid for it.

Keep positive but also realistic cause the world isn’t.


Single Post Navigation

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *